so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
