I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize