i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
