um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
