walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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