So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
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Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
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Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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