While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
