So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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