Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
