I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize