So drunk its hurt
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
