So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
