Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize