I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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