so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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