is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
