He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
