I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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