i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
