so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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