Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
