hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
