I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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