thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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