Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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