Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
