sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize