I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
