My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
