woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
