All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
