How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
