Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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