Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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