I'm drive I can fine osifer
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I currently don't understand fingers.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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