i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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