Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
