I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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