Have you finally orgasmed yet?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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