I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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