She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
