I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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