the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
