i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
