it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
