i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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