So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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