Will you blow on my dice?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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