We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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