Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
