So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
