we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
