if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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