the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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