Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's never too late to be topless.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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