Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
