Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize