Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
