At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
