went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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