I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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