we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
