I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
