escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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