hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
a search helicopter?!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
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It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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