I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
