im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
